My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
