you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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