She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
