We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
