We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I'm gonna fight the coyote
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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