Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Randomize
