Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
