I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
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