I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
