I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I supernannyed him into submission
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
