Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
