I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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