Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Drake has all the answers
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Randomize
