they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
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