A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
