No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
