Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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