Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
