I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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