I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
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