You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
