Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
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