i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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