I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
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