Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
