don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I'm passing your future prison.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
