At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I didn't notice because vodka
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
