he shaved USA in his pubs
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Randomize
