just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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