At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
