I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Randomize
