Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
