i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
