I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
