Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Actions speak louder than pants.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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