ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
