At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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