Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
