yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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