If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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