I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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