we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
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