My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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