I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
