and you said cock pushups were impossible
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
