puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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