I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
