You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Randomize
