I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
