Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
