Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
