Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
