sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
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