i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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