We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
