Are we in a gay sports bar?
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Randomize
