she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
