508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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