He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
