kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
You dont lie about slip and slides
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
