So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
