i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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