Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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